Our Wilderness Disaster in Arizona
May 11, 2007 on 7:02 pm | In Arizona, Travel | No CommentsOur attempt to travel to the Verde Hot Spring did not turn out as planned-Join us in our epic tale of Man Against Nature and the Woman who tries to save him, available online for the very first time! *Drum Roll please*….
Early Saturday morning, we set out for Verde Hot Spring, North of Phoenix. A co-worker had recently told me about the place, but we didn’t have the best of directions-
So Chris used the opportunity to map out the shortest distance with his new G.P.S. program. I packed a few snacks and some water for myself, but Chris planned to stop along the way to get his supplies. We drove past Dugas in less than a minute. It was the nearest town to the hot spring, but there didn’t seem to be anything there so we couldn’t stop for supplies. We were limited to the few things I had brought.
We followed the GPS course, which took us down a super rocky road-at least it was a “road” according to the GPS program, but to us it looked like a long stretch of SUV killing ambush in the form of huge rocks and boulders covering a narrow trail. But we had come this far, we hoped for smoother trails ahead. After three hours of driving at a crawl, we came to a clearing at the edge of a mountain top. The trail continued down the mountain, but it narrowed. We finally decided enough was enough and decided to park the truck on the side of the deserted road and take a look around. We were the only vehicle out there.
We spotted a sign saying the spring was 6 miles away. Another sign, at the edge of the mountain read, “this road not maintained for public travel,” so if it was anything like the last one we figured we could probably go at least as fast on foot without endangering the vehicle anymore.
Chris walked impatiently ahead, wanting to get there before the sunset. I lagged behind, carrying the big blue cooler with all the water and snacks. I chimed in a time or two daring to say something positive-like why not enjoy the journey a little or it’ll be no fun when you get there…–but he continued to rush and kept tripping over rocks, swearing loudly at them and exerting his energy bending to pick them up and throw them…. Chris is rarely in a bad mood, but when he is, I can’t help but be somewhat amused-he takes himself so seriously and doesn’t see the humor in his actions.
Chris didn’t want to walk at night, so I suggested maybe we’d better turn around a couple times, knowing the sun would start setting soon, but he continued being stubborn and just wanted to hurry up and get there. He had made up his mind that it was going to be a wasted trip unless we got to the hot spring-and he could have no fun in the meantime.
I continued to follow, but my inner state was quite a bit different than his. As the sun began to set we reached a fork in the path and saw a sign with an arrow, and the letters, ”MT.”
“Main Trail,” I ventured? Or perhaps it meant ”Mineral tubs?”
“Or Mountain,” he said and we kept going straight for a while longer-but after a mile or so, it was officially dark and we still had not found the hot spring. We had not found any signs of civilization-no litter, no noise, no footprints-nothing. Not a a soul in sight- We decided to backtrack to the fork in the trail.
Chris’s resolve was faltering, “I hate this, this was a terrible idea, just terrible, why did we have to come here?!” Sure, in retrospect, I might have pointed out that we had many opportunities to turn around, but he had chosen freely to keep going, but at the time I was in a blissfully contented state-I just wanted him to be happy-even though he was obviously horrified. He feared we were in grave danger being alone, just the two of us, at night in the wilderness…and that I had no idea because “you live in your own little fantasy world, which is fine at home, but you don’t understand the danger and we could be attacked by a mountain lion, bitten by a snake, black widow or scorpion.”
I wanted to reassure him but didn’t know how. I wasn’t afraid of any of the things he’d mentioned, but I was worried about him. Also, I knew we hadn’t brought enough water and the trip up the mountain was likely to be more challenging in the dark, especially now that we were getting tired.
It seemed peculiar to me how we could be in the same situation, but respond so differently-but I began to realize that he didn’t feel he had a choice-he was responding. I had followed him, knowing the risks, because it had seemed so important to him. My mind wasn’t affected with anger or fear the same way his was. In fact, I felt astonished by how my mind was just dancing with positivity…
I gave him a hug. We walked down the other path together another mile or so, and still no luck finding the hot spring. I suggested we sit down and wait for morning-I put my towel down in the middle of the path for us to sit on. I looked at Chris and said, “I know this probably isn’t the right time or place to say this, but I love you.”
He seemed stunned-”Why do you say that?” I said I just couldn’t stop thinking that-and even though he’s not having fun, is scared and tired-I know this isn’t who he is. He said he didn’t like being those things, but didn’t know how not to be sometimes-it just happened, and he cared a lot about me too. I felt so relaxed, I thought I’d be able to drift off to a peaceful slumber any moment, but the second I laid my head against down Chris saw a spider. I whacked it with my sandal. He said there was no way he’d be able to sleep and maybe we’d better just walk back to the truck afterall.
All those carrots must have paid off because I could see pretty well, despite it being a moonless night. I let Chris hold my flashlight since it made him feel more secure, and hoped the batteries would last until morning. The stars were beautiful and more and more appeared as the night went on.
Walking back was a slow labor as it was all up mountain, and distance was hard to measure as so much of what we saw all looked the same in the dark. We encouraged each other on - ok, I probably did most of the encouraging-sure I was worn out too and it was strenuous exercise, but I was imaging looking back on that night-feeling good to have survived…appreciating it for being a highly unusual experience.
Chris was convinced we were about 2 seconds away from deadly peril. I felt like if something attacked, I was ready for it. I imagined fighting back-biting, scratching, kicking, etc and I felt so powerful-like no creature would dare mess with me..and as I examined my inner state, I wondered if maybe such a thing as previous lives really are possible-maybe as an animal, I had already fought off all those predators and that’s why I had nothing to fear now…or maybe it was just the adrenaline, or I really am in my own little fantasy world, but it was an interesting thought, and it was peculiar that not even a single bug was bothering us…despite there being marshy areas, and all the little gnats that had been clinging to us when the sun was up.
I reassured Chris that if attacked he would not freeze up because his body would get so pumped full of adrenaline he’d feel like he had super human strength. He thought he might have used it all up already though.
Our struggle was not with nature, but gravity, our heavily beating hearts, and the fact that we were now completely out of water, for thirst really builds when you’re climbing up a mountain. At least we didn’t also have to fight the sun. With mouths like cotton balls, we shared stories from our youth. I recalled what it was like walking home from school, with my sister, down our Grandma’s long snowy driveway. How it felt so cold and each step was a struggle. We’d talk about the hot Ovaltine Grandma would make us, hot baths, warm fireplace-things to inspire us to keep trudging onward-even though it often felt like an impossibly long distance on those negative zero Minnesota days for a 3rd and 5th grader. Chris recalled a time in Michigan when his car got stuck at the beach in the wintertime, and so he and a couple friends had to walk a long ways to get help.
Chris seemed much more companionable after I told him I loved him-I think it shocked him that he could be at his worst when I said that for the first time. Later he brought it up again, and said he didn’t know what love was because he had said he loved other girls before, but he felt more strongly for me than anyone else. Works for me.
He started taking blame-very unusual for him, saying he should have listened to me and turned back sooner..and added that he’d made a bad decision by following the GPS shortcut instead of the longer way. I think maybe anger is a result of feeling guilty but not wanting to blame yourself. Once you can accept responsibiity for your choices, you can accept where you are at, and use your energy to get to where you want to be instead of resisting what is. All I wanted was to have an interesting weekend.
Chris was feeling particularly drained at about the halfway point on the way back and asked if I really needed the cooler. So if anyone finds a blue cooler out there….you’ll know why. I’d apologize for littering but I’m grateful it was just a cooler. We saw a car that had tipped over going down the mountain trail, full of bullet holes too.
We eventually made it back to our truck, at 2 AM- after 9 straight hours of hiking in our sandals. We were dirty, sore, exhausted, and thirsty beyond belief. Luckily, we still had a gallon of water in the truck. We put the seats down and conked out.
I slept about 3 hours when the sun woke me up. I laid there about an hour and then went outside to sit down on a rock and think about the event of our night in the wilderness, as I enjoyed the beauty and isolation of the mountains. For the next 2 days walking was a painful effort-we were both stiff, bruised, and limping, but it was such a relief to be out of the danger zone. We drove back against the tortuous road, but Chris didn’t get upset anymore.
And just like that, life is back to “normal.” I told my Mom about it and she said that sounded “incredibly unpleasant.” She’s on her way to Ethiopia.
You struggle through this big ordeal-and ultimately it’s like you either made it or you didn’t-the world just goes on. Your struggles- both inner and outer, are highly personal. I guess it’s something we have to make our own minds up about. I would like to go back someday to the Verde hot spring with more time and more water!